Solely In Black and White: The First Date Project: Part 2

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The First Date Project: Part 2

The Departure:
Aha, the first few seconds of relative privacy; this is always fun. Someone has to break the ice. Sometimes it starts off with that awkward “Hi” quickly followed by goofy grins, which is fine. It’s always nice when the girl beats me to the punch and breaks the ice first. Not that this is necessarily a good sign, but it makes for a good start. But either way, the ice must be broken!

The Drive:
I guess I would fall into Bad4’s third category, i.e. I open the door, look away while my date is getting into the car, once settled I look at her, and close the door slowly. No, I am not checking her out, but I am tracking her hands and feet. Some girls close the doors themselves while others cross their arm (or tug at their skirts) and patiently wait for the door to be closed for them. I don’t think there is a right or wrong, but I don’t want to close the door hastily and break a nail or worse. However, I should point that I have gone out with girls who have blatantly refused to let me open the door for them. At first I was taken aback by such requests, (OMG, that against protocol, ;) ) but then I realized in the scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter.

I can relate to the frustration people have about driving and maintain a decent conversation. It really isn’t the same as face-to-face chit chat. Besides, there is only so much information that you can retain while weaving through traffic, listening to the GPS, getting lost, and thinking about what your next topic of conversation might be. I also have this premonition that sitting in traffic does not enhance the ambiance factor. It is for that reason that I try to take my first dates to the closest reasonable venue possible. IMHO, even a simple lounge or dingy coffee shop might be better than sitting in traffic, at least for a first date.

The Entrance:
Upon exiting the vehicle, I regroup with my date and we walk towards our destination. I have found that some girls walk slower than others (high heels may play a role, but I have yet to do personal field testing to verify this hypothesis) so men as a precaution watch your pace, and women please {surreptitiously} convey to us if we are inadvertently paining your feet.

To tell you the truth I can’t even recall what I do by revolving doors because I don’t know. You just go through, right?

Doors: For push doors I try to step ahead, open the door, and hold it open for my date. Pull doors are a bit more complex. Technically ( halachically), a frum male is not supposed to walk directly behind a female. Pulling a door open, walking through, and holding it open is an option, but I prefer the more chivalrous and novel approach. Open the door, hold it, gesture for your date to proceed, wait a second as to not walk directly behind her, and then pass through the threshold.
Escalators: Again, I don’t know. It’s really whoever gets there first (if we just went through a pull door before the escalator, I am not going to try to win that race). The best case scenario is that we both stand sideways on different steps and converse, but on either a very narrow escalator or a crowded escalator this isn’t always possible.

Did I mention I love elevators? No, I am not talking about the scientific or technical innovation involved in the process; I am referring to the situations where you meet interesting people. But the best part is that you know these strangers are looking at you like your crazy and you completely agree. I always find it interesting to note where my date will stand in relation to my location in an elevator, but again in the scheme of things that is just nonsense.

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