Solely In Black and White: The First Date Project: Part 3

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The First Date Project: Part 3

Sitting Down:
The moment you’ve all been waiting for; the actual date. Upon entering the venue, I will ask my date if she has any particular seating preference. I don’t think I have ever had a girl actually specify a location, but nonetheless I think it’s a nice gesture. So we saunter over to a table, remove our coats, and sit down. After a while, or a break in the conversation, I will offer my date a drink. Of course if the venue is full service this is a moot point. Now this is where I have found a discrepancy. When applicable, some girls will come along to get the drinks, while others will not. I actually prefer that they come along, primarily because it diminishes the guilty feeling of abandoning my date, but I am okay with either choice.

Choosing a drink isn’t immensely difficult. Now I would love to order a beer, but that just isn’t going to happen (that’s even if you assume we are talking about a venue which does stock decent brews). However, if it ever happens that a girl has the wherewithal to order a beer, I will be glad to do the same; but only because I wouldn’t want her to feel awkward :). At this point, I think I have ordered every possible non-alcoholic lounge beverage at least once. What can I say; boredom must be affecting my subconscious drinking choices.

Restroom Breaks:
I never knew this was an issue. If you gotta go, you gotta go. If both parties need to go at the same time, the best solution seems to be taking turns. Hey, someone has to watch the coats and stuff (or in some venues the coveted table and chairs). Okay, fine, I will admit that once on a really bad date I excused myself to go to the bathroom just because I needed to get away. When I got to the bathroom I tried racking my brains for conversation material, but kept coming up short. Suffice to say it pays to have a smartphone and read blogs (thanks BoSD). I’m not saying that those ideas fixed the date, but it did give me enough fodder to make it to the finish line.

Anyway, while my date is away I sometimes watch the other daters, check my email, or read something on my phone. Maybe it’s just me, but when I watch other couples who are also on a first date, there seems to be an inordinate amount of smiling and laughing. It’s a bit sad when you can tell which ones are real and which ones are forced. Now it could very well be I would appear the same way to someone watching me, but is that normal?

Leaving is a bit rough. Most girls I have gone out do not check their watches or openly signal they want to go home. In all the irony the few who checked their watches didn’t want to go back yet. I try to keep track of time, but it gets annoying when you have to covertly glance at your watch and pretend you’re not. As for the bad dates, well, those are a bit easier to figure out and end…

Drive Back:
The quality of the conversion on the drive back has always been girl dependant. On some occasion the drive back was better than the rest of the date while on others it has been the most grueling part. Being tired can work to your advantage or detriment. People are less on guard when exhausted and are more likely to say what they’re really thinking and not just what their “best foot forward” mindset had intended. I think some of the best and most candid conversations I have ever had have been discussed near the end of a first dates.


  1. Sounds like you're quite the gentleman.

    About the fake smiling? I've noticed it, but some people just smile a lot, in general. Some are just smiling because they're nervous.
    It makes me think of a keychain I (used to?) have -- "I smile because I have no idea what's going on."

    I agree about the drive back...people are generally more laid back at that point.

  2. Hey, cool my blog saved the day!

    the funny thing is, I compiled this list for my friend, when she was dating a really shy boy. She is married to him now, so I guess in that case I REALLY saved the day.


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