Anyway, other bloggers seem to lament about their newly engaged friends turning into the infamous sub-human species known as “Bridezillas.” With the amount of money being spent of drug research nowadays you’d think they’d have found a cure already. Unfortunately not, it seems that the bridezilla virus is unstoppable, or at least so I am told. Thankfully, being an uncommitted male, I don’t have to worry about these things yet.
However, the good news is that after much research and observation, I am happy to report that there is no such thing as a chossanzilla, or at least they are doing an incredible job at hiding it. It might be possible that my most recent samples have yet to display the full effects of the disease thus far since they haven’t gotten their chossan watches yet. While this theory of delayed manifestation might be true for kallahs, like that short period of time before one get her rings, but I highly doubt that is the case for these chossanim. Besides, I have viewed enough “test” subjects to know that the “chossanzilla” at its worst isn’t all that bad.
Nonetheless, there are some similarities between the two. The first resemblance between the newly minted kallah and her chossan is that glowing smile. There seems to be another common feature that these chossanim seem to have with their female counterparts: a texting malady! No jokes. They are super-glued to their phones. Even though this habit can be is a tad rude, it does make for some interesting conversation, especially when they keep chiming in with “hey, guess what my kallah just told me.” I guess it takes two to tango; or in this case text. Seriously, we had to institute a “no phone zone" for a time. Even during our electronics time-out I think he was twitching his fingers. Trigger happy maybe? ;)
So there you have it. You can now roam the streets, shtibels, and other venues where the chossanzilla can be found knowing full well that you will not be attacked. As for their female counterparts, you’re on your own. :)