Solely In Black and White: April 2010

Friday, April 30, 2010

Quote of the Week: Be Careful What you Read.

Sage advice applicable throughout the ages:   
Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
 I wonder what he would have said about all these shidduch blogs… :D :p

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

SibW’s Point Usages: Casino Edition: Wanna Bet?

So it seems that some people are disappointed that they have accumulated copious amounts of points and have nothing do with them. I wish there was a way for all of you to get ice cream, but with the amount of points you guys got, I would need to own Häagen-Daz or something. Can I interest anyone in digital ice cream maybe?

Fear not though, I think I have created a system wherein your can spend you points with relative ease. (However, how you acquire them is still completely at your discretion.) The system shall be called the SiBW Casino.

The idea came to me one day as such: Dating really is a crapshoot. Arguably, compatibility, romance, and attraction cannot be accurately predicted (yet) based on “paper” inputs. Add in the other external factors that come into play in the shidduch dating system, coupled with all those official and unofficial rules, and you have yourself a really interesting opportunity, at least from a gambling perspective.

 To test this theory out, I held a test bet (a gentlemen’s bet of course) with a counterparty to determine if this would work. We each guessed how long my stint with a specific girl would last and added a theoretical dollar amount to our predictions. Suffice to say, I won (and no, in case you were wondering I didn’t cheat).   And thus began my career as a shidduch gambler ;) … Yeah right… :D

In theory, gambling might be considered bad for shidduchim and thus (according to some) earn you points, but for the sake of our sanity (and to prevent a circular reference) we shall give shidduch gambling a temporary free pass. 

Monday, April 26, 2010

Shidduchim 2.0: The Top Ten List

Isn't it remarkable that with all the technological advances we have at our disposable, the shidduch system is more or less functioning in the same way that it has been for the past 20 some-odd years? Maybe the adoption of email or the proliferation of BlackBerrys has improved our ability to interact, collaborate, and keep the channels of communications between the shaddchuim and their “potential clients” readily accessible, but in essences, not much has changed. The one development that I am having heard of, for better of worse, is the eradication of the pre-first-date phone call.   

In comparison to cultural trends, it’s a bit surprising that the internet hasn’t fostered greater shudduichim innovations. I do have to say that while Mikomos is really great, I still have friends who are better. Yes, of course we all know of ShidduchVision and the myriad of Jewish dating websites, but neither of those concepts have really been adopted by the mainstream shidduch-dater, at least not yet.
For a moment let us imagine if some of the more popular and practical Web 2.0 applications were modified for shidduchim purpose; oh how much fun it would be.  Some of the technical and halachic issues would need to be worked out, but who knows... maybe one day some of these ideas might actually take root.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Link: How to Treat a Woman

SIS recently wrote a post with some advice to those amongst us who are just about to start their journey through Shidduchim. Of course more info on the topic of how to understand a girl would be nice. So if you are perplexed by the question “How should you act around girls?” or if you’re in the mood for a good and informative read I suggest you check this out:

Monday, April 19, 2010

BadForShidduchim Points: The Male Version

Bad4, during her blogging career has created the infamous club, eerily named “The Bad for Shidduchim Club.” Being a male reader of her blog, and thus prohibited from attending these meeting, I always wondered what actually goes on during these little get-togethers.  Personally, I think it’s a secret collaborative ploy for world domination- one scoop at a time- but that is a theory that can be debated later.

More importantly, this club and its ingenious point system got me thinking. If girls have a metric to measure how badly their actions are viewed in the realm of shidduchim, why don’t boys have one as well? Besides, if a girl were to tell me she had acquired 1,000 Bad4 points, how exactly would I be able to relate to that?   The only plausible solution was to create a Bad for Shidduchim Point system for the guys.

I should note though, unlike Bad4, I have no intention of starting a club, or for that matter the male chapter of her brainchild. I currently have enough (or maybe I should say a rapidly dwindling number of) single friends who I can chill-out with and accomplish the same goals, namely a source of comradery and a venue for sharing good shidduch stories, albeit without the world denomination, at least for now… ;)

As a note of the caution, this list was hastily created and is probably missing a bunch of items. Feel free to make recommendations for additions, subtractions, multiplications, and edits to the list. Also, some items may in fact be against halacha. If you are unsure about the status of a particular item you can either ask a local orthodox rabbi or your next date, you know, just for the fun of it. If you can’t find anything on the list that is against halacha, give yourself 200 points. Enjoy.

Special thanks to Bad4 for her help with this post.  

The complete list after the "Jump"

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Quote of the Week: Stupid

Here is an interesting quote I heard from an undisclosed source this week, so don’t quote me on this one. Take it or leave it: 

“Don’t marry a stupid one. Nowadays, medical breakthroughs can fix or replace nearly everything, but there is no cure for stupidity.”

If you do, at least you can legitimately buy the official t-shirt, “I’m with stupid.” But let us not forget that the definition (or acronym) of stupid is debatable:

Funny Quote Graphics @
Funny Quote Graphics

So who is the STUPID one now? :)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sefira and the Revenge of the Beard

                                         Photo Taken From: Bein Kach U'Bein Kach

It’s that time of year again. No shaving, haircuts or listening to music. 

I really don’t mind the restriction on haircuts since I can manage to postpone a trip to the barber (or butcher depending on who you ask) until Lag BaOmer. Similarly, I have come to terms with a lack of music. I have found other ways to keep myself entertained while sitting in traffic. Besides, you can only truly appreciate something when you can’t have it for a while.  But the thing that bothers me the most is not shaving. I really hate that. Besides for looking unkempt it’s really uncomfortable. Personally, I think I look best with some stubble, maybe a 5 o’clock shadow, or what have you. I think even the “baby face” look works better than a beard. But an untrimmed beard? I think not, at least not for me.  

I recently read the results of a famous razor manufacturer’s customer survey conducted by the market research firm StrategyOne. It revealed, conveniently enough, that men who shave five times a week or more are happier (89 percent to 82 percent), more outgoing (41 percent to 32 percent), and more social (42 percent to 34 percent). And the kicker: men who shave regularly also earn on average $15,100 more per year than infrequent shavers.  Weird no? :-/

It’s not all bad. A beard does provide some fringe benefits. For one, it protects you from being pinched on the checks while someone proclaims “oh, so cute,” typically a right reserved for the elderly and creepy uncles. :) The other benefit is for dating. Not having to shave means one less step of preparation (you can check the male first date project responses for verification). But dating during sefira presents a complication or as my friend once asked me “don’t you feel self-conscious about going on a date looking like a hobo?” Well… you see... yes, I do, but I really have no choice. Assuming you don’t somehow get a hetter to shave, you’re left with two options. Either you can date looking slightly disheveled or you can take a strategically planned sabbatical from dating. My friend chose the latter. The best advice I heard on this subject was from a rebbi who insisted “if you plan on marrying a frum girl, then she won’t mind dating you with a beard.”

So to all the female readers out there, what do you think? Is untidy facial hair a turn-off?  

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Happy April Fools’ Day

As I am sure you're all well aware, here at the SiBaW blog we take all holidays very seriously, including April Fools’ Day. So in honor of this momentums festival, April Fools’ Day 2010, I have decided to slightly modify the template of the blog, at least that’s all for now… :)

Anyway, just in case you need some holiday spirit, (although I sure hope Pesach is providing you with some of that) check out these links: