Solely In Black and White: Resumeology 101: Class 1 Background

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Resumeology 101: Class 1 Background

Welcome to Resumeology 101. In this class (series of posts) I will profess the merits and optimal structure of a shidduch resume within my demographic of the shidduchim world. This post may contain some other pieces of useless information that you already know, but in the spirit of education they bear repetition in the hopes that you may learn something.  :p  Oh, and you may be graded… IRL ;)

Like any good class, we shall start with the history of the shidduch resume. To be blunt, the exact origin of the shidduch resume is unknown.   Some (conspiracy?) theorist, based on ancillary proof and archeological papyrus records, attribute the creation of the shidduch resume to the ancient Egyptians. This theory is dependent on the hypothesis: why else would people create obscure hieroglyphics and “pictures,” presumable about the life of singles, if not for the sake of shidduchim?  Another set of supposed experts attribute the origin of the shidduch resume to aliens since the idea is so preposterous it most have come from another planet. More recently, researchers have used newly extrapolated data to prove that the shidduch resume wasn’t created because it naturally evolved on its own! However, in order to keep this lecture within the realms of normalcy we will not delve into Polytheism, Scientology, and Darwinism (and because those topics are very bad for shidduchim.)  

Regardless of where the shidduch resume came from, it is now part and parcel of the shidduch scene. Generally speaking, one can no longer call themselves “in shidduchim” and not have one of these life-altering documents. The currently accepted non-standardized iteration of the shidduch resume is an adaptation of the Targeted Resume. Often, people mistakenly assume that anything defined as a “Resume” must include work experience; this is not true. The purpose of the shidduch resume is to better fasciculate the antiquated and methodic research process, a tradition that has been kept for centuries. Intrestingly the shidduch resume shares some similarities with its workplace counterpart.

The most important similarity between a shidduch resume and a “real” resume (professional:  chronological, functional, or combinational) is that they both severely influence one’s first impress of an “applicant.” While some may be hesitant in calling a shidduch resume an application to marriage, that’s really what dating is to some extent, convincing your potential counterpart that you’d make a good partner.  Furthermore, the information contained in a both a shidduch resumes and a real resume may be used to your detriment. (Hopefully this aspect will be discussed in greater detail in class 2.)

Unfortunately, there have been some dissidents who have found the moniker “shidduch resume” to be offensive and misleading ( Bad4) and have suggested profile as an alternative. While the suggestion may be altruistic, it is grossly inaccurate. For one, a profile is general used for one of the three purposes:

1. Psychological Evaluations (Click here for one on Serial Daters)
2. Threat Assessment (Does controversial Racial Profiling ring a bell?)
3. Online User Info (The use of fictitious information in creating online accounts)

None of those would be a good precedent for a shidduch profile unless the person in question is umm… very unique, and not in a good way. Furthermore, all three profiles above provide either an in-depth analysis of the person in question or pertinent personal information while a shidduch profile does not necessarily do such. If I had my wish I’d call it a prospectus, but people might get the wrong idea and I wouldn’t want that on my tombstone.  

Besides, if we can't call it a resume, how are we going to make fun of all those resume boosting activities? Such as attending: BJJ/Hadar/Lakewook/Brisk etc... and certain well known chesed organizations solely for the purpose of bettering standings in the shidduchim world. Sadly, there is no such thing as profile building! It's called resume building for a reason you know.... 

 Class 2: Understanding the Resume Structure and Common Mistakes 
 Class 3Structure


  1. SiBW, this is a masterpiece. Looking forward to the next lecture...

  2. Halivay it should have some ancient basis, but I'll go with the extraterrestrial idea instead.

    Down with all pieces of paper that dare to define me!

  3. @ishchayill:

    So what’s your take on driver licenses? :-P


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