After much procrastination, finally the question you have all presumably been waiting for: what should be included on a shidduch resume?
If you didn’t take anything out of the last two resume post ( Class 1 and Class 2) the answer is simply “the less the better.” People have this strange ability to take whatever you write in your resume and make it seem negative regardless of whether it’s true or not. Or maybe we should just call it being overly critical perhaps? The craziest part is, people can make these grand postulations based on descriptors and stereotypes without even questioning the basis for their assumptions! And that always works out well… 8-|
So what’s my advice? Preferably don’t include self description blurbs in your resume unless you truly understand the following consequences:
1. Whatever you write, it will influence how people perceive you before you even get a chance to meet them, just like a real life resume, thus making your statement the ultimate first impression.
2. Whatever you write will be over-analyzed. Guaranteed; no questioned asked. And that’s every single word.
3. Anything said, implied, or omitted will be questioned by someone at some point in time.
4. Mistakes (such as spelling, grammar, and factual errors), appalling writing, and dreadful presentation can seriously tarnish to your otherwise perfect persona. Are your writing skills so impressive that you’d be willing to take that chance?
5. Defining (or in some cases misrepresenting yourself for the sake of making your words politically correct) can either limit your potential possibilities or in some cases be a major turn off.
So what to do? If you are coerced into writing a short statement by the forces that be, such as your parents, then try to keep it honest, short, simple, and neat. Two sentences max. (The size of a tweet :-) ) There can be immense beauty in brevity. If you want to give a Shadchan a long verbose profile of what you’re about, send it in the body of an email or a separate document. That way they can purge it easily… ;-) A resume is really not the place for it. It’s also not such a wise idea to include all your hashkafas, opinions, and lists of requirements on your resume, like our friend Chava Leah did; save that for your date because thats what makes for great conversation!
Optimally, I think a resume should never exceed two pages. Do not use a microscopic font to make it fit onto one page! Your resume should display your name prominently somewhere on towards the top and include some basic personal info such as age, height, hair color, and eye color. Don’t even think about writing your dress size! Even if you a -2! (Does that exist?) It’s very pretentious and unsophisticated. (Tell the shadchan, they’ll be very happy to hear it, though). Also, if you expect prince charming to pick you up from parent's house, then please write on your resume the address and phone number. And that’s not just for our sake, the guys, but for the Shadchans as well.
For the schooling section one should have at least high school, seminary, and college(s) (if applicable). I don’t see why people are writing which play group they went to, but hey, that’s cool. If one is currently employed, write that too. No, you don’t have to list every single job you ever had since 8th grade, remember, this isn’t a work experience resume. Oh and don’t forget to include which camps you have attended (or which bungalow colonies you have inhabited), that is almost as important as which seminary you went to! :-P
Most people seem to list their shul affiliations and basic family information, such as parents' and siblings’ names as well as any applicable maiden names. Some people list their parents' occupation, which is a fine, but not essential. General, most people list their siblings by ages and add a current city of residence if they no longer live at home and some basic info on what their siblings are up to. At a minimum, I think a resume should at least list all of one’s siblings and their ages, but more info is preferred. Any resume lacking a sibling list, such as Chava Leah’s, should be called into question.
For the references section you’re going to have to wait until Class 4.
“Older” Girls at 22
1 year ago