Solely In Black and White: Oh No! Not that Place Again!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Oh No! Not that Place Again!



In a few previous posts we have briefly discussed dating venues. While it could be argued (and judging by the fact that there is a shidduch blogosphere for a reason, it probably has been) that there is no such thing as a perfect dating venue because that would be an oxymoron, there must be some places that are better than others. Presumably, that’s another determent of the shidduch system, at least from the planning a date perspective. 


Girls generally don’t give guys honest feedback about a venue; not before they go there and not after the date. Arguably, that makes sense, because in the scheme of things why should a dating venue really matter in context of date? In the scheme of things, isn’t the purpose of the dating process to get to know the other person? A wonderful venue is truly a secondary concern, at best. But life is never all that simple… As guys, it’s our civil (I forget the section and code, but it’s there somewhere ;-) ) and moral obligation to provide our dates with a somewhat enjoyable time, thus necessitating a somewhat enjoyable venue. And come to think of it… girls don’t have to plan any of the dates either! :-) Where is feminism when you need it?! 




Of course there are a few benevolent (female) souls who are a compassionate enough to share their insights in the comment section of this blog with the altruistic intention of bettering dating “man”kind, still most of us males don’t know all the tricks of the trade. Or more precisely, we just don’t know where girls really enjoy going. 


So in a humble quest to find the ultimate (and penultimate, because one can always use a few good ideas) dating venue, I would like to solicit your expert advice, and tap into the collective male and female wisdom of the blogosphere: where did you have your best date ever and why? I am assuming that said venue which you (the reader) intend on choosing is incredible in its own right, but was the reason you put it on your “best venue ever” list due to the person you were with on that date, the venue itself, or a combination of both of those factors? Thanks in advance.

17 comments:

  1. well first off, as a girl living outta town and having guys come in, i have indeed planned most dates (even driving the dude when he couldnt manage to rent a car..)
    but it seems that any place can be fun with the right person and vice versa..that being said, i enjoy doing nature walk situations when its nice outside and you can breathe fresh air and worse comes to worse there is always something to comment on..

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  2. Let's see, best date, best date . . .

    I gotta say, it has nothing to do with venue. If the guy is nice, I don't care. I have been in 5 star restaurants wishing the place would have to get evacuated, and have been perfectly happy in coffee shops.

    So boys, read up on your Miss Manners.

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  3. Although I have to say that the person is what makes the difference- if I like them it doesn't matter where we go (I once went to Dave & Buster's twice with the same guy!) :-) But for first dates, it is important to make a good impression, so even if you pick a lounge- try and show the girl some effort went into the decision.

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  4. Guy opinion:

    I really think that a laid back setting is the best. My wife and I wore our regular wardrobe clothes and went to a Starbucks for our first date. Our very favorite dates are walking around town (sometimes with a coffee in hand).

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  5. To answer this: "..we just don’t know where girls really enjoy going," I'd like to say that this is because not all girls like going to the same types of places.

    For example, some girls, like me, just enjoy talking and would be perfectly happy going to a coffee house or on a walk in the park. Those are my favorites. But I know plenty of other girls who dislike those types of venues and complain that it's too boring and not a good setting to really get to know someone. They prefer places with activities such as arcades.

    If you ask the girl which she prefers, she will probably not tell you (at least not for a first date) because the guy is the one paying, and also because we want to come across and flexible and chilled out.

    One of my best dates was actually when the guy came with three different suggestions and asked me to pick one. I thought that was a great idea.

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  6. @aminspiration:
    Kudos to you! I think at some point all girls should have to plan the dates, just so they know what we go through. :-)

    @Data:
    That’s terrible! Did you at least enjoy the food?

    I’m sure there is more to being a good date than manners! What would happen if a well mannered boy took you to a lounge 4 dates in row? Venues do play some role… :-/

    @ShidduchimAdverse:
    Oh my! That is very against the rules! Every boy knows you can’t a girl to same place twice; that’s like sooo wrong… :-)

    @Yehuda:
    That sounds awesome. Did your wife ever tell you that while you were dating her?

    @SternGrad:
    Cool, thanks. I tried using the multiple suggestion approach but that can be very hit or miss and it also takes a lot more planning and forethought.

    @Everyone
    How about this: Where were you when you had your BEST DATE EVER?:

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  7. best date ever was at the Marriott Marquis in manhattan (no joke) but that could be because of the guy i was with...

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  8. She did not tell me before-hand that she liked Starbucks but we also didn't know that we were really having a date until it was over. She DID tell me that she loves going on walks better than most other dates but I didn't believe her until we were married for about 7 months.

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  9. Best date ever? Cafe K, Top of the Rock. HANDS DOWN...the food was great, the view was great and the company on that date? Excellent! :-)

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  10. @tembow:
    Cool. That’s a nice place! The elevator ride up and down is really awesome.

    @Yehuda:
    Wait, what? How do not know you’re having a date till it over?! Hehe, that’s funny. Oddly, it seems SternGrad is right, a lot of girls like walking and talking and stuff of that sort.

    @ mmmmchocolate :-) :
    Wow, that’s quite a combination!

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  11. It's a long story. Basically we were going to talk about dating and stuff and by the time we left the coffee shop we were dating. Then, two and a half weeks later we were engaged. Now we are having a baby in November.

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  12. A well mannered boy wouldn't take me to a lounge 4 dates in a row. I'm sure Miss Manners has it somewhere under "Dating Etiquette": "If you give a girl flat coke with a hint of lemon repeatedly, you suck."

    How could I enjoy the food when I knew as soon as he arrived on my doorstep that he's going down? And that he's clueless about it? (I hate breaking hearts . . . ) When it's mutual, no problem. When he's thinking it's shooting fish in a barrel, then I feel bad. Ergo, no appetite. So I order the semi-cheapest thing on the menu.

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  13. @Yehuda:
    Wow, cool story. B'Sha'ah Tovah U'Mutzlachas!

    @Data:
    Let me know when you find it in there. (including the page number) :-p

    Have you ever considered doing something to show you’re not interested in your date; such as intentionally starting an argument, yawning excessively, using annoying or frustrated body language, or just spacing out? :-)

    Off the record, I am more curious which restaurant this was, as some establishment’s cheapest offering can still be quite impressive or costly. If the guy wasn’t, was the food at least decent? :-p

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  14. the coolest part is she is the only girl i ever went out with.

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  15. Hi there, it's Yehuda's wife. I really do like walking dates the best because they are a) free, b) a comfortable setting to talk in and c) exercise releases endorphins and makes everyone happier. The worst date I had was when a guy took me to a driving range. It was hard to talk and he spent waaaaay too much money on a date that went no where. If you're worried that the girl might not like to walk I'd say pick a place like Dave and Buster's, or a coffee house that has live music so that there are distractions if need be, but there is also a place to comfortable sit and talk.

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