Solely In Black and White: The Story of Sleeping Beauty: Part 1

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Story of Sleeping Beauty: Part 1

It seems this shidduch storytelling theme is infectious. Anyways, today's post was provided by ShidduchimAdverse . Enjoy. 

Continuing in the fairy tale theme,
I’ve always wondered what Sleeping Beauty dreamed
(Or  Shluffing Shayna as she is more formally known)
The sleeping part we’ve seen-but the dreams were never shown
So in telling this story, my very first directive
Is to give some background- offer some perspective
Now, Shayna was a fine fine young lady
Though her sleeping habits were a bit shady
She was known to carry a pea, mattress and quilt in tow
In case she’d suddenly conk out- when she was on the go
Her narcoleptic tendencies were strange but accepted
As a young women so fine- it’s almost expected

In  pre-school Shayna excelled- at coloring and cutting she shone
But  often after circle time- she’d conk out like a stone
Very early on, she was quite quick to figure out
That she’d get ALL the crayons if she’d whine and scream and shout
In grade school Shayna’s beauty truly  came  to flower
But she still went suddenly unconscious-like a lightbulb with  no power
She knew exactly what she’d have to do, exactly what to say
She’d toss her  curls, smile cheekily- and always get her way
In highschool she was head of drama, Chesed and G.O.
But she’d often hit the floor so quick-they’d wonder where she’d go
A girl who so irresponsibly, was in dreamland more than she was here
Was usually not the most celebrated girl in the graduating year
But a few well-placed complaints to her royal mom and dad
Made sure that she received everything she had
Naturally a girl with so much talent and skill under her (royal) belt
Was accepted to EVERY seminary and the acceptance was heartfelt
(Of course her father the King, aided in his daughter’s acceptance
A princess is chashuv  but narcolepsy? That cost him a few cents)
Obviously the Princess chose Princesses Chava to be her home for the year
Additionally the campus is nice, foods okay and the girls are all such DEARS
Towards the end of her year of GROWTH (um…her vacation)
Shayna began to ponder her shidduch situation
Naturally Tatty would help her purchase a boy or two
But sadly it was Pesach time and no desirable calls came through
Shayna was a sweetheart but it also MUST be said
She was truly quite spoiled and inflated in the head
She was a princess, and girls of that specific brand
Are usually married BEFORE a guy can even  ask for their hand
Tatty always took care of her and she was truly surprised
When in metaphoric terms her single friends were “dropping like flies”
It certainly ate at this fabulous girl’s confidence and hopes
When all of the guys were marrying, those non-royal “dopes”
It’s not to say Shayna had no dates, oh she certainly had some calls
But who would actually date those dwarfs (only 5”7 tall!?)
An “evil” witch- (in Shayna’s eyes) who was really just a kind rebbetzin
Observed Shayna’s frustrations and the situation she was in
She made Shayna a huge pot of her favorite caffeinated coffee
And had her over at her house to have some cake and toffees
Shayna of course had no idea that the coffee was spiked
With Ambien and Lunesta and things that no ones likes
When coupled with her natural tendencies to fall asleep
She as out quicker than she could count even one  wooly sheep

To be continued... (Click here for part 2

1 comment:

  1. Very cute Shidduchimadverse. I don't know how you managed to rhyme so many lines!


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