Click here for Part 1
After much persuasion and nudging, Snow White agreed to go out with the Seven Dwarfs, because hey, you never know…. (even when you really think you do…). It wasn’t that they were dwarfs per se, just that they were slight and at best 5’6”-5’7”.
Anyways, the first boy on the chopping block was “Dopey.” Snow White was quite reluctant to go out with a fellow named Dopey and rightfully so! His name was Dopey! (His parents must have had quite some foresight with a name like that.) But, the shadchan protested, “No, really; he’s a very good guy, best guy in Lakewood East Fairyland, in fact.” Reluctantly, Snow White went out with him, but as his name foretold, he was just too dopey. And so the story went with Grumpy, Bashful, and Happy in a similar fashion, obviously with different adjectives…
Sleepy never showed up for his date for some odd reason. It probably was for the best, as he was more likely to fall asleep on the date than not to fall asleep anyway. Sneezy mysteriously claimed he couldn’t date due to a constant cold, although he did offer to tie his nose in a knot. As for Doc, he said no to Snow White after one date, because she wasn’t intelligent enough for him; he is Doc after all and Snow White didn’t even go to college.
All the while The Evil Princess was plotting. Three times The Evil Princess disguised herself and visited the shadchan's cottage while she was away during the day, with the intent of harming Snow White.
First, she disguised herself as a peddler of dating attire, possibly a seamstress. She succeeded in offering Snow White colorful stay-laces insisting that all she needs is a change of wardrobe, and then all the boys will be clamoring for her. The Evil Princess laced Snow White up so tight that she fainted, causing The Evil Princess to leave Snow White for dead. (not-tzinus perhaps, thus she fainted? Dunno…) However, Snow White was revived by the shadchan once the laces were loosened. (See, a good shadchan never lets a girl wear something unbecoming :-) ).
The second time, The Evil Princess dressed as an old hairstylist brushed Snow White's hair with a poisoned comb. (Getting your hair done professionally for a date can carry unexpected risks, watch your back! Or hair…) Snow White collapsed, but again is saved by the shadchan. Finally, on Purim day The Evil Princess, disguised as a farmer's wife, brings Snow White a beautifully themed poisoned apple (it’s supposed to causes warts and pimples, but it looked so pretty) for shalach manos and offered it to Snow White to eat. (And you thought your parents were smart for only telling you “don’t take candy from strangers!) When Snow White showed apprehension about accepting the apple, The Evil Princess cut the apple in half, ate the white part and gave the poisoned red part to Snow White. She ate the apple eagerly and immediately fell into a deep stupor. (Yeah, we’re talking like she didn’t know the difference between "cursed be Haman" and "blessed be Mordechai" to say the least. ;-) )
This time when the shadchan (plus Hatzalah, Shomrim, VIN, YWN, seven dwarfs, and all the king’s horses and all the kings men) found her, they couldn’t do anything revive her, and they placed her in a glass coffin, assuming that she had died, at least for shidduchim purposes anyways.
Click here for part 3