Solely In Black and White: On Engagements, the Future, and Other Stuff…

Monday, August 9, 2010

On Engagements, the Future, and Other Stuff…

Back to work. Seems TAK is cool with the blog (who knows… maybe she’ll even post something one day…) and the conversation wasn’t even that awkward! We’ll maybe a little; it’s not like an everyday occurrence that I pull over random people and say “do you know who I am?” Although maybe I should try it just to see what people would say back to me! :-) Remind me next time we're in Time Square.... :-p

I guess that means I shall continue blogging. That kind of puts me in a weird genre of blogging: The Engaged, Former Shidduch Blogger, not yet Married Group. That should be an interesting experience I guess…. Because engagements are so weird! But more on that topic later… Of course I still plan on posting shidduch related topics and posts; how could I not? Shidduchim, for better or worse, has played an important role in my life and it is something I never want to forget. Granted, there were so very trying moments, to say the least, but shidduch has made me who I am. Furthermore, without the shidduch system I wouldn’t have met TAK, and that, in and of itself, makes the journey worthwhile. Also, TAK and I hopefully plan of sitting down one day and seeing if we can be matchmakers too! (It’s like socialism, spread the wealth :-p ) In that case, maybe I’ll be able to write what it’s like being a shadchan and then someday some shidduch blogger will blog about me…. :-/ (Oh-uh; why do I think being on the other side of a post isn’t going to be as fun…?)

I have to say that I now feel bad for engaged girls. There is so much to do! Seriously, no wonder all the engaged female bloggers disappear and now I know why; it’s a lot of work. I guess that would explain why there is a phenomenon called Bridezilla too. As far as Chossonzillas go, that is still a mystery to me. See for us guys… we don’t have to do all that much. Also, and that reminds me, we need to find an apartment or befitting living quarters, which depending on which municipality one hopes on residing in can be an assiduously painful experience, or so I have heard from reliable source who have been through the rigmarole already. Nonetheless, our to-do lists still aren’t that long in comparison to our female counterparts.

Don't get me wrong. I would offer to help in the FLOP(S) arrangements department, but I don’t think they (the ultimate decision makers) really want my advice. Flowers? I recommend radioactive yellow roses with a touch of neon orange daisies and maybe some seaweed for volume. Orchestra? Only the best of Unconventional Percussion. As for the liquor, the more the merrier, and the photographer, or shall I say the pictures, the less the merrier. ;-) I think uttering the aforementioned statements will either result in a smack to the upside of my head or a short, but sweet, berating as to why men can’t be trusted to make important life-altering wedding decisions. Although I think my mother knows me too well for this anyway…. :-p  Oh and that reminds me, I refuse to go dress/gown/ any form of women’s attire shopping. I have heard the horror stories. I’m relatively certain it’s now forbidden by the Geneva Convention and I am stickler for rules when it comes to cruel and unusual punishment (at least with regards to my well being…) ;-) As far as other forms of mandated shopping… we can negotiate, right? :-)

In further news, I’m watching TAK for signs of Bridezilla-nis . The subject appears unchanged and seems stable, and thus appears to be free from the malady (bli ayinm hora/ chas veshalom) although I have yet to verify my prognosis with her friends. Furthermore, this prognosis may be a tad premature, i.e. the subject doesn’t have a ring yet, and thus might require further evaluations at a later point in time. Also, being that I myself may be infected with the Chossanzilla variant of this malady my perception may be altered and my state of mind might be classified as delusional. Anyway, if you see any signs of Chossanzilla-nis, let me know, I don’t think there’s a cure, but at least admission is the first step towards recovery. Or not….


  1. LOL sounds like oodles of fun....i kinda LIKE the idea of radioactive flowers!! (kind of like the spider that bit spiderman- and gave him SUPERPOWERS...all your guests will be super heroes with FLOWER POWERS!!)
    So, how exactly are engagments wierd?

  2. I highly advise you to adopt the "Whatever you think is best, dear" pose. Or, if she actually asks for your opinion, pretend to agree with her in everything. "Why, I also think that shade of ivory cream is divine! We both have such impeccable taste!"

    The wedding, to most females, is sacred. Don't even mention the radioactive flowers. Because the wedding IS NOT A JOKE, and it has no sense of humor.

    The humor will reappear by the sheva brachos. Hang tight.

  3. @ :-)ShmeichalyMaidel :-):
    Fun indeed! What’s wedding planning if not fun for the making? ;-) or Posts.... :-)

    Ah, engagements are weird because there are neither here nor there. Engagement are not exactly dating but it not marriage either, sort of like a no-man’s-land. I assume I’ll write more posts on the subject at some point.

    @ Data:
    I totally agree!.... :-p

    I think TAK can read me better than that! I don’t think I could get away it; beside I am partial to "egg shell white", “off white” or “ivory cream” just won’t do! :-)

    I’ll try to make my jokes subtly then. There is no way I can make it an entire engagement period and not crack some wedding jokes. That’s just not possible. Come on… from a guy's perspective it’s kind of funny…. :-/

  4. This is going to be fun with two bloggers from opposite sides being engaged at the same time. I was already unofficially engaged (a topic for another post) when you posted that you were engaged, and for a second I wondered if my chosson had a secret identity.

    And yeah, being engaged is a lot stranger than you'd think before the engagement. You're engaged, but you're not married; you're no longer "dating," but you're not really doing anything else. Very odd... I was planning a post on that too. But, being a bridezilla (chas v'shalom), I might not have time. I look forward to reading yours.


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