There is a known phenomenon which occurs when one gets engaged: they hemorrhage friends. The use of the word hemorrhage is quite succinct really; it’s a slow trickle and progression… While this fact of life is nothing new, it is an interesting eventuality of getting engaged and ultimately married. I am not the first one to blog about this topic either. This actuality has been chronicled in many blog posts and stories. Although I don’t know which friends I am going to unwillingly be distanced from yet, it remains a sad thought that this dynamic has to happen. Granted, there are ways to minimize the loss or the severity of one’s impending fallout, but let’s face it, once you’re married other consideration and priorities take precedence, as they rightfully should, and one’s focus on their friends will ultimately suffer. But then again, this is a two-way street as well, and I can remember being on the other side the median. It is also something that even if one is cognizant about, they are still somewhat helpless to control.
Anyway, the point of interest I wished to add this topic was that science has actually done a study on said phenomenon. Researchers from Oxford University concluded that falling in love costs on average two close friends from one’s core circle of friends.
Single women often complain that their girlfriends, who were once as close as sisters, dump them when they find a new guy. They're left hurt, upset and bewildered. Whatever happened to sisterhood, they wonder?
Based on this report, however, it seems to be a matter of simple arithmetic: You can't add a consuming new romance and keep your other tight-knit relationships at the same number and level of intensity---and this phenomenon isn't limited to women.
The research team found that men and women are equally at risk of losing two close friends when they get involved with a new romance. After that, they're left with four remaining friends, on average, one of them being the new person that has come into their life.Article Link
"If you don't see people, your emotional engagement with them drops off and does so quickly. What I suspect is that your attention is so wholly focused on the romantic partner you don't get to see the other folks you had a lot to do with before, and so some of those relationships start to deteriorate."
In a separate study, Dunbar's team looked at how men and women maintained friendships on the social networking website Facebook. They found that women's Facebook friends were more often friends from everyday life that they spent time with, while men tended to collect as many friends as they could, even if they hardly knew them.Article Link