Solely In Black and White: Question of the Week: Who is your Shadchan?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Question of the Week: Who is your Shadchan?



I’m not really sure how this question came about, but it’s something that I seemingly have been asking a lot of people for a while now. That question really stems around a different question: who is making all those shidduchim? Yes, I know, G-d is the one who ultimately pairs people up and chooses who and how and all that, but who is actually redting these shidduchim? Someone is responsible for all those contributions to the ranks of OnlySimchas, unless shidduchim has finally been outsourced to robots, then maybe we’d have a self sustaining mechanism but everyone would be uniform.  :-/ That theory aside, the question remains, who really is behind it?   So to assuage my curiosity, if you will: predominantly, who redts you your shidduch dates? 


7 comments:

  1. I always wondered who my shadchan would be and secretly hoped that it would be someone close to me that I cared about and be forever indebted to, but not so.
    My shadchan was some random small time shadchan. She is my mother's best friend's daughter's co-teacher. How's that for close. My mother never called shadchanim, but when I had a nasty dry spell, my mother's friend insisted that my mother call her, drove her crazy to call her, actually. So just to get her friend off her back my mother called this shadchan (who is a young stuliner boro parker) and my husbands name was the first and last name she thought of for me, and this was in that one conversation....
    How she picked up my husband is quite random, apparently there are these shidduch conference calls that shadchanim can listen in on, where some person reads off good guys names and basic info, and it's fair game for shadchanim to grab and match them up...so she heard my husbands name from one of these calls...and the rest is history (well, there's a bit more intersting tidbits to the story, but I'm just answering your question....)

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  2. My shadchan was my (now) best friend Ari. He introduced me to my wife and after a few weeks I told him I was interested in asking her out. He told her and asked if she was also interested and the rest, as they say, is history.

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  3. Mine was my neighbor down the block - an old family friend. He met my chosson at Yeshiva, and from the conversation, decided that we would make a good match. The shadchan suggested it to my chosson, but he was busy then. A number of weeks later, one of the official Yeshiva shadchanim redt me to him again. He was available, I was available, and here we are - getting married in a little more than 6 weeks.

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  4. I was going to answer this but after seeing who commented, I'm not sure if this question was directed at engaged/married people....

    In any case, most shidduchim get redt by my friends or my parents' friends.

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  5. Sun Inside Rain, I didn’t intend for the question to specifically be directed at any particular group, in hindsight, I guess I wrote the question vaguely so that everyone could answer.

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  6. All the people I went out with were redt to me by people I know from my neighborhood. I went to a few "professional" shadchanim, but none of those shidduchim materialized.

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  7. Almost all the guys I've dated have been redt to me by friends of my parents or people who have met me. Just a few by "professional" shadchanim.

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