Solely In Black and White: Top 10 People Whom I’m (We’re) not Inviting to our Wedding

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Top 10 People Whom I’m (We’re) not Inviting to our Wedding

ImprovEveryWhere: Black Tie Beach 

While this post might be an idiotic lament of engaged folks, I am sure this I (we) cannot be the only ones who have this issue. Mainly, the problem is whom to invite and whom not to invite. While I (we?) would love to invite the world, I doubt that would be possible. In retrospect, I think we collectively invited too many people as is. I mean, so much so that I hope there is room for me and TAK! :-P Anyway, so this week’s Top 10 list is a compilation of people who didn’t make the cut on my invite list. I use the term "my," because I don’t definitively know who TAK invited nor does she know who I invited. This would so much simpler if there was a way of mailing people an invitation with some little note that informed them that they don’t need to feel obligated to come. Really. But until someone figures out how to do that politely, I present to you this week’s top ten list. Granted, this list was created after we already sent out the invitations… :-)

1. Bloggers – Yes, I know that is hypocritical of me. How can I differentiate someone based on their computer habits, for lack of a better way of phrasing it? So what I mean is if you know me through the blogosphere, you’re probably not getting invited. However, I do wonder if TAK has some friends who happen to blog that I don’t know about… :-/ I guess we’ll have to look for posts post facto that implicate them. 

2. Anything past 2nd Cousin once removed- Does that even count as relative anymore? Alternatively, any relative whom I don’t know by name or even how I’m related to them... do we really need them there?

3a. Aunt and Uncles who didn’t give me a bar mitzvah present- I don’t even like gifts, “it’s the principle of the matter.” :-p This should be very self-explanatory. You know who you are! :-)

3b. Nephews and Nieces who can’t behave- Again you know who you are! :-( And don’t tell me it’s because you didn’t get a bar/bas mitzvah present!) :-p

4. Friends who the amount of times in a year that I have seen them is greater than the amount of words of our last conversation. Commonly: Hi, how are you? Followed by an unspoken agreement: This conversation will be repeated in 6 months…

5. Former, annoying, roommates – For one, who wants to be annoyed? Two, who wants to be annoyed at their wedding?!

6. Anyone who has ever taught me secular studies at some point in my life. It’s not that I have anything against my English teachers, but I can’t say they are the apple of my eye. Is it just me whose memories of Secular studies teachers are that they were always a bit strange??

7. Celebrities – What, you think I want someone else stealing the show?! I want the paparazzi all to ourselves, thank you very much! Hamodia and Yated photographers and their pictures not included in that one.

8. Former Dates – Yeah, now that would just be unnecessarily awkward. I guess I should broaden that to include people I was redt to, just for prosperity.

9.(From TAK) Persistent good shabbos texters - ....You know, those overly considerate people who texts good shabbos on Wednesday afternoon for the heck of it. I can picture dancing with her at the wedding, her remaining silent...only to find a slew of texts later such as "mazel tov!'...and then "where did you get your hair done" and then "do you wanna sit down? I think you’re a little tired from dancing so much!" and then "should I get you a drink?" Keep up the good work, but isn’t wonderful how you can text from anywhere?! ;-)

10. (From TAK) Shul members' children- If I don't recognize you when you’re not standing next to your seat on rosh hashana...I don't think I can invite you. Maybe there is an exception for children of close family friends since that would be another story… 


  1. Interesting. I agree wholeheartedly with not inviting celebrities. I was at a wedding where Lipa sang and nobody danced, they didnt want to miss the concert.

    I don't agree about anyone else though. I don't know enough people to be so picky.

    Here's my link:

  2. Surely you must agree with number 4. I am sure you have friends who you have lost touch with over the years! Doesn’t everyone? :-/

  3. 1) I invited 1 fellow blogger who is attending. Actually 2, but I knew the 2nd one before I found out she was a famous blogger.

    2) If you are related to them and actually have some consistent family get togethers, why not? Though my parents did invite some far-flung kin.

    3) I don't have any, other than my soon-to-be nephew. Regardless, you CAN'T forego inviting your siblings kids! That's what babysitters are for, and I'm sure your parents wouldn't be so happy.

    4) Depends. If they were close friends for something like 5-10 years of my life, then yes they get invited regardless. Weddings aren't JUST about the hear and now.

    5) Agreed, though one slipped in. He's a good guy, but don't want to share a room with him ever again.

    6) Eh, that's purely your perspective. I have several invited, though only 1 is coming, I think.

    7) Depends what you mean. Of the Hollywood type, none. But of the Judaic/YU kind, then yes. Several Roshei Yeshiva, the Mashgiach Rav Blau AND President Joel!

    8) Totally agreed. Thankfully, none have married close friends.

    9) I don't really know any of these. I had one a few years ago, but he stopped a while back.

    10) I agree, especially if they live out of town and have no shaychus to you. But then again, some are on friendly terms with us and were indeed invited.

  4. i especially liked number 7 because during the build up to my bar mitzva my father wanted to see if we could book avraham fried. i kept telling him "this is my bar mitzva not a concert!" then, when i went to the Rebbe's ohel on the actual day of my bar mitzva, i ran into avraham fried there. i got a picture with him and (since it was a polaroid) got him to sign it as well. that was much more special.

    (PS i also ran into reuven russel that day. he is really funny)


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