Solely In Black and White: Objectively Skinny Looking?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Objectively Skinny Looking?

Sorry for the unannounced leave of absence. I had some important things to take take care of.... ;-) Now back to work... :-) 

Lose weight now

While fielding some rather strange and interesting shidduch questions recently, I began to ponder a point of contention. Looks, and all of the components that comprise that subject within the line of shidduch research questioning, are technically for better or worse completely subjective. They are relative to each individual’s personal tastes and style preference, for lack of a better explanation or euphemism. However, that’s not to say that there aren’t people out there who are objectively good looking, but those limited examples are typically made of plastic or some other petroleum based substance… or maybe they are just figments of our imaginations created from Photoshop airbrushing techniques? :-p Okay, I’m kidding; those people are the easy examples in this case. Duh. They are good looking, next question please…. But what do you do when you have a friend who you’re a reference for who doesn’t look so great… 

Typically, when it comes to everyday shidduchim-based questions, and more precisely the research phase of the process, this can be quite a sticky topic. For one, how can a mother of child in shidduchim really determine whether a potential date is attractive to their child? Furthermore, how can a reference answer such a question with even a remote modicum of accuracy and without any bias whatsoever? Even so, the hardest part is in the phrasing of one’s question. Asking about someone’s looks tends to be a very difficult process, especially if one intends on avoiding asking direct, rude, or crass questions… or G-d forbid even asking for a picture… of a BOY! :-/ That is so against the rules and oh so patronizing!!! ;-)

While that is not to say that everyone doesn’t deserve a fair shot, but there are plenty of situations where a tad of truthful, objective, and relevant information would go a long way. I understand that answering the question “is so and so fat?” or “unhealthily skinny” or “short?” or “ugly” or some other equally appalling phrase that is rude and demeaning. In lieu of that, how about if people were kind enough to provide their Body Mass Indexes (BMIs) on their resumes in order to provide their potential dates. Or better yet, how about they share their magical number with their references and shadchan! That way people would have an honest and objective metric with regards to their weight. I realize this is so not going to happen, but one can always dream… :-)

1 comment:

  1. BMI isnt always so valid because it doesn't take into account muscle mass, which ways more than fat. as for the magical number..that also doesnt mean much for the same reason plus the fact that someone who is taller should way more. Plus..everyone carries his/her weight differently someone may be overweight but look great and another can be skinny and look sickly..its all subjective, which is why i don't believe an any of this talk..wait and go out and see.


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