Solely In Black and White: One Wedding, Two Worlds (Part: One)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

One Wedding, Two Worlds (Part: One)

Draped wedding dress
This post is courtesy of TAK. I’ll write part two soon, well, hopefully… :-P

Stand at the dais at a wedding- position yourself so that your risk being impaled by the mechitza. (please avoid getting impaled ;-) ) and take a look around. Notice any differences? Ok sure one side contains men and is a flowing sea of black, and other side is (predominantly) female and contains a sea of…..more black!? But even greater differences abound. This dichotomy provides insight into the fundamental differences between men and women. Allow me to illustrate: Ask a man how a wedding was and he’ll say “Nice. The food was decent, the music was good, the dancing was leibidik, and there was an AMAZING bar.” Quite frankly, that’s actually quite a mouthful from the typical male. ;-) Usually its “Eh. Nice.” Ask a female and be prepared for a detailed, play by play account. If you say “How was the wedding” expect the following response: “What part of the wedding??????” :-) and, if you don’t specify soon enough, brace yourself for a ninety mile a minute account of every detail, said very excitedly with over-exaggerated hand gestures. “First of all, they had valet parking- which I love (who wants to be walking alone at night in G-d knows what neighborhood in spiky (gorgeous!!!!!!! :-D) Stilettos, - it isn’t safe!!) So THAT was nice- but it isn’t nice when the valets are rude. WAIT till I get the arches and umbrella out of the car- okay?? I did a quick scan of the entryway….white hydrangeas….daisies? Meh. SO last summer. (and DAISIES!? Hello?!? Where on EARTH are daisies in!?) All elements are taken stock of, flowers, décor, ambiance, lighting, shmorg, acoustics (why always so loud?) general style of fellow females dress (long black, short black or ::gasp:: color) and of COURSE the bride- who gets a very detailed description all her own- covering the following: 

Hair: Up or Down, (curly, straight, piecy, wavy, did it stay up for dancing!?) headpiece (Tiara? Combs? Headband? Flowers?) Dress: fabric (Lace? Satin? Chiffon? Organza? Tulle?) style: (Fishtail? Straight? Mermaid? A-line? Low-waisted? Princess? Straight jacket? White burlap potato sack?) Bridal Bouquet, etc. etc. and of course the train! 

It’s interesting to note that these differences are widely known among married people (hence the parents of the chossan and kallah created two different universes on either side of the mechitza) Are these differences evident in day to day life as well? How many guys have accidentally fallen into the trap of what a girl likes about weddings on a date? The bigger question…how does one get out of the sticky glue once they’ve stepped in the trap? Oh well. :-P 


  1. Oh, you may need MORE than TWO parts for this one, lol....
    Differences, you say? They aren't limited to perception alone. In fact perceptions may very well often be dictated by REALITY.
    I sometimes compare with my husband.

    Why does he perceive ambience differently?
    BECAUSE HIS SIDE HAD NO FLOWERS!! (some men do appreciate them, you know...)

    Why is he not as hungry as I upon leaving?

    I've even been to weddings where the CHAIRS AND THE TABLE LINENS were of different qualities!

    You've got me started... I may need to post about this myself.... grumble, grumble.....

  2. If you ask whether the wedding was nice and then don't specify which part, then I'll just say, "Yeah, it was nice." And if you do specify, then I'll usually say something that is no more than two or three sentences long.

    And yes, I am officially female.

  3. I would also answer "it was nice" unless something stood out, like "nobody was dancing" or "the flowers were gorgeous" (or in your case: crummy bar :-P )

    ~ another female

  4. It did? I really don’t know… That must have been an oversight somehow… Wait a second, why would a female know of such things! Drinking at a wedding cannot be good for one’s shidduch rep! ;-) I really can’t answer for the bar, but the bottles at the tables where I was situated throughout the night were quite impressive, to say the least; but much to my disdain I was too busy to partake in tasting them. :-)

  5. Well i believe there is a massive difference in thinking of male and female until unless we started to understand each other.


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