Solely In Black and White: One Wedding, Two Worlds (Part: Two)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

One Wedding, Two Worlds (Part: Two)

Magical White Wedding

Maybe wedding planning has gone to my head but I find the way weddings work to be strange. I wasn’t going to post about the intricacies of planning and of the amount of legwork involved in arranging a wedding, lest I bore you, but I just couldn’t help myself (ourselves? :-p). So as TAK described it, in other words, weddings offer two separate simchas at the same time. The irony is that men don’t even know that there are discrepancies between what they see and what their female counterparts on the other side of the fence see… But all differences aside, I think most of the changes are legitimate. Do men really need fancy flowers and pretty ambiance and such to be happy? Probably not. I think the focal point is as G6 commented; it’s the food that counts.

The one thing that perplexes me about weddings is the shmorg. I understand that logistically it makes sense for the fancy portion of the shmorg to be placed by the kallah/lady’s side, but what exactly are men to do? It should be the exact opposite. Men should have the bulk of the food, while the women should get some sushi, fancy salads, and those decorative cakes that no one touches, but everyone debates starting. I guess the current situation works out well for men who are married… they can just say they’re looking for their wife. On second thought, I guess a single guy could say the same thing all while getting some food… “I’m just looking for my wife”… ;-)

There is another discrepancy that comes to mind that I didn’t realize up until recently. The dancing on the men’s side directly correlates to the amount of alcohol offered, while the dancing on the women’s side is dependent on the amount of girls are in attendance. Don’t ask me how I reached that conclusion… let just say some research, experimentation, and confirmation from experts. My hypotheses are only vetted by the best of course… :-p I mean, I assume once we are analyzing dancing, we could count running through the “arches” as another difference, but I doubt most guys want to run through frilly white half rings anyway! :-)  

I guess this all theoretical, because at the end of the day, being a guy I have very little say in the wedding planning, as it should be! We generally don’t have the capacity to make these decisions! I’m still trying to differentiate “off white” and “cream of wheat.” :-p We probably be making choices at random, not because we don’t have the ability to choose what’s “prettier” but because we just don’t have the patience  to make it all come together. And that my friends, is why we have women! :-) Someone needs to make all those tough decisions. As an aside, I think motherzillas take the wedding cake! Trust me. ;-) And on that note, thank you mommy, I am sure everything will turn out just fine…. And no you can’t control the weather! :-) 

1 comment:

  1. I don't think the amount of dancing on the men's side has to do directly with alcohol (at least in every case) as you hypothesize. The dancing at my wedding was out of the world (literally, in some instances) but very few or none of my friends were drinking alcohol at all. It was all about the band, the shtick, and the ruach. You get the right group of guys together - and I had a very big mixed bag of different guys from all sorts of places, geographically and hashkafically - and there is a certain aura that just permeates everything. I'll write more about it in a future post wedding report.


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