Living in close proximity to a member of the other gender can be quite interesting at times. Well, I guess a comment like that can fill a few posts… Hey, a statement like that can fill a few blogs! Regardless, there is one specific topic that recently peaked my interest; how single girls relate to their married friends.
While I personally can’t describe this dynamic first hand, I can merely comment on what I see and hear. Anyway, the one point I wanted to underline is the fact that my wife’s single friends all keep repeating the same request “ask your husband if he knows of a guy for me…” Granted, that is a valid request and I would love to help each and every one of my wife’s friends and in finding their soul mate. I just don’t know all that many guys. For one, we ascertained that my wife has a lot more single friends than I do. Shidduch crisis aside; that makes my job a lot harder. What, you think I’m made out of shidduch ideas…? Aside from that, of the shidduchim we have collectively redt, none of them have even gone out.
Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand why some girls do this and I don’t blame them. However, there is a right way to do something and a wrong way to do something. Obnoxiously hounding your married friend in the presence of their husband is probably not going convince them of your stellar and sparkling middos. Furthermore, I see no problem in helping girls who I actually do have ideas for. The problem I have is with girls who are not understanding about how much effort it takes to redt a shidduch. Also, I find issue with girls whom almost demand that we redt them something, or those girls who are unappreciative of our efforts in trying to redt them something after they asked to be redt something in the first place, that just gets to me.
Am I wrong? Maybe I’m just a guy and clueless about this, but typically guys don’t ask their married friends to set them up. Maybe it’s an unmentioned part of the bro code, send along a shidduch to friend, but don’t openly ask for it, I dunno;… buts what’s up with these girls?