|Come back here Weddings!|
Being that Shavuos is over, that means its wedding season again. I don’t recall what I have written about weddings in the past, but I think I am growing less fond of them. Or let me properly quantify that; I am getting tired of attending inordinately long weddings. You know, the ones where you can’t personally leave, but almost everyone else in attendance can. On the bright side, once you get married you can use a plethora of excuses not to go to a wedding, especially those weddings that you really had no intention of going to in the first place. Some classic examples include “I would love to attend, but my wife doesn’t let” or you can just play the Shana Rishona card if applicable.
That short quasi-rant aside, I am starting to think that after getting married, attending a wedding is somewhat less nostalgic and magical. You no longer stand by the chupah and wonder when will it be your turn to walk down the aisle while suppressing some minute feelings of sorrow and jealously. You no longer smile in exuberance as the couple walks down the aisle together after the chupah on their way towards eternal bliss. And finally, you no longer wonder, hey, what exactly is marriage really about…
Call it what you may, but as the general advice goes, once you see how a sausage is made, life is never the same. Don’t get me wrong, I am a major advocate of marriage. Perhaps let me explain this in more practical terms, life is never all that simple and marriages (as well as many engagements) are typically filled with hard (yet happy) work. Instead of all those thoughts above, I now find myself wondering and worrying, will they make a good couple? Will they make each other happy? Will they care about each other and love each other unconditionally? At that point I just shrug and return to praying for the couple because ultimately no one can predict the future and prayer is really the safest option from an outsider’s perspective.
Anyways, I realized another jarring thing about weddings. Contrary to popular belief, they are not the most important day of one’s life. Important, special, moving, and memorable, yes; the most important, no. Arguably, the most important day of one’s life is the day they’re born. :-P Sorry, I know this might come as a shock to many people. (My mother and mother-in-law would probably disagree with me on this, so perhaps I am wrong, but they have yet to convince me otherwise.) That being said, even if the flowers aren’t stunning, the food isn’t amazing, the music isn’t pleasing to the ear, the décor up to snuff, and everything is just lackluster, that doesn’t make the happy couple any less married or their future life together any less happy! Oh, and for what it’s worth, I think seeing a truly happy couple will never get old… :-)